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Ileana
17 Nov
Nayang Academy Of Fine Arts

craves -;
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260711 ` matters of the heart.
Tuesday, July 26, 2011 | 9:13 AM

Recently, I have been bothered by some matters of the heart. 

Once again, my mum is giving me pressure by stressing to me that she objects my relationship with my current bf. I'm at a loss because I know where she's coming from and as a parent, she wants the best for me. However, there is nothing I can say to rebut her bcos she right.



该怎么办呢？我最近老是在想这个问题。好烦！我一直在质问自己。。。 

是我放不了手吗？是我好抱着一线希望吗？
被问到和他分手的事，我总会给一样的回答，但是我开始明白。。

那些都是借口。

是我放不下。是我还抱着一线希望，希望它会醒悟。不过，他没有。好失望。

虽然我嘴上说得很轻松，好像很洒脱。但是我很清楚，一旦我和他分手，我会很痛苦。

也许我嘴上不说，但是其实我很爱他。所以，我一直默默的忍受。

不过，我不知道还能忍耐多久。。因为这种莫名的压力，真的让我喘不过气来！
曾经想过要逃避，不过渐渐的，发现那不能解决问题。

I know it's impossible between us, but I'm still trying to hold on.. despite the pressure and stress I am getting from the family and wherever else. Every time people mistook him as my brother, I feel terrible deep inside. 

I know it's hard on him too, when his friends see me. Because I'm too slim.. perhaps, if I choose to leave, he'll find a better one. I know he will.. Someone who knows how to love him more than I do.


Because I just realised, I'm not qualified to love someone yet. So insulting, yet it's true.

好痛苦，我连想也不敢想。。没有他的世界，自己一个人的时候，日子会变成怎样。
黑暗，悲伤，痛苦。
也许我会选者用酒来麻醉自己。


I don't know when that time will come, but I'll take things as it comes.



making-sweetness Ileana ♥