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Music making-sweetness


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Ileana
17 Nov
Nayang Academy Of Fine Arts

craves -;
♥ name change
♥ goodbye to panda eyes
♥ Piano Black Polaroid ;
♥ Gain weight 10-15kg;
♥ BlackBerry Bold
♥ freedom
♥ A car;
♥ granny and mummy's good health & happiness;
♥ learn piano;
♥ death ♥

loves -;
♥ making-sweetness

♥
♥ OZWorld
♥ 爱情小说
♥ myself not

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BlackBook [game]
Ferret

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Please do not remove credits.
Designer l Fanny
Basecodes 1 l Piinklifiedd
Basecodes 2 l InDreamsMaybe
codes 1 l Ms.SockPuppet
codes 2 l Little-Miss-Wendy
Materials 1 l cyworld
Materials 2 l Angelicreations
090610 -; thanks.
Wednesday, June 9, 2010 | 7:10 AM

I never knew, that my "dead" blog I thought no one would even bother to read .. has actually quite a few readers !

Thanks from the bottom of my heart to all those who cares..

I was touched when Nee sms-ed me, to express concern about whats going on.. Thank You.



As much as I knew people around me cares, I just can't seem to handle this well .. Here I am, emoing once again..

Thoughts I kept to myself.. remains .. some times, there are just stuff, you open your mouth, but nothing comes out.. you just don't know how to start.

Some times, there are things you just prefer to keep to yourself..

Cancer isn't uncommon now.. But the path is full of obstacles .. Am I strong enough to brave the dangers with my mum, I often asked myself deep down, but .. I knew the answer was negative.

Suicidal thoughts again and again. I tried deceiving myself, but it never goes away. My smiles were never true, they never really existed.

I've started to have thoughts of moving out of this house.. But I knew it wouldnt be possible. It would never be granted.

I'm always treated like a child.. Never had freedom.. Never would be independent.

I'm exhausted, no amount of lies could cover up the reality I tried to run away from ..

They don't understand, they never bothered to. Even if I tried telling them, it falls into deaf ears.

我的快乐呢？是我要求太多了吗？那看起来很简单的幸福，看起来好遥远。

somehow, I just feel neglected.. The only way I could open up a little, is this blog..

making-sweetness Ileana ♥