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♥ 270210 -; random .. ♥ 170210 -; back to school. ♥ 120210 -; when everything goes black & white .. ♥ 050210 -; unspeakable anger ♥ 010210 -; upset. ♥ 290110 -; time for a change. ♥ 260110 -; too sudden. ♥ 190110 -; unexpected. ♥ 090110 -; the trickling tears.. ♥ 010110 -; unexpected. Thank You
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030310 -; unexpected news.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010 | 1:22 AM Yesterday, I met daddy at the void deck .. He told me that he accompanied mum to CGH as the doctor called .. and was informed that Mum has been diagnosed with cancer .. 肠胃癌 .. I dont know how to react all of a sudden .. Its like, mum has not been following strictly to her diet .. I'm worried .. Just when I thought things are getting better, things were worse than imagined. For the past few days. she's been calling everyone by phone .. telling them abt her condition .. like radio .. more or less .. You know tat kind of pain ? The first time when you hear about the news, you already "turned off" .. imagine it bugging your mind all day long .. worrying about things like .. " what if mummy's gone ? " .. " what if mummy leave me ? " .. " how would life be without her ? I cant imagine. " .. many many more .. And to make it worse .. I hear her repeating the same thing all day long .. woke because she was talking on the phone about it .. till she sleeps.. she practically hogs on the phone .. It is precisely because she's been negative, that has been affecting me as well .. I heard saying that her case is classified urgent .. which meant that she need not queue to take those scans and consultations etc .. its like .. you know how serious that meant ? And she claimed that in the past she had one person reading her future, then the person said that by the age of 57 or 58 I think, she would face .. erm .. this disaster or problem .. then if she can't overcome it .. it would be an end for her .. thinking back, she says it quite accurate, but she thought nothing of it at that time .. How do I be optimistic about things when she makes things sounds so serious and ~dark~ .. sighs.. I cried last night .. watching this drama .. it's because I couldn't cry out, thats why I watched.. its a good one I would say .. 心好烦。I can't cope with school .. I don't feel like going school .. I feel like quitting school .. but, I have to persevere .. left 1 years and 2 months.. Will accompany mum to the doctor tml, on sis's request .. to keep an eye on mum together with my aunt .. to make sure she request a change in hosp ..
 Ileana ♥ |
