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Ileana
17 Nov
Nayang Academy Of Fine Arts

craves -;
♥ name change
♥ goodbye to panda eyes
♥ Piano Black Polaroid ;
♥ Gain weight 10-15kg;
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♥ freedom
♥ A car;
♥ granny and mummy's good health & happiness;
♥ learn piano;
♥ death ♥

loves -;
♥ making-sweetness

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281010 -; suicidal
Thursday, October 28, 2010 | 11:32 AM

最近，我又哭了。我又有了自杀的念头。


When I was suicidal, I planned to finish ISP, and then perhaps suicide on my birthday. pretty eh ? 


December, my eldest cousin, Jonathon is gonna get married on the 4th , while sis is gonna get engaged on the 18th.. A busy month.. Dar's birthday too .. 


说真的，我不知道，自己还能活多久。


Today, my chest kept having sharp pains.. very uncomfy .. But I kept it to myself.. (:


Mama say, no more dogs, cos everyone objects.. everyone meaning my dad, grandma, aunts and uncles..


没有了 marco, the thought of him, can make me tear. 


He's not there to accompany me anymore, 
All his sweet little gestures I never used to cherish.


All I would say is I didn't have time for him ..
Occasionally I would buy him treats ..


He was always here for me,
When I cry, 
He would comfort me.. 


He would be here for me,
to protect me..


But now, he's gone..
All I could do now is cry..


For I will never forget,
his last breath,
When he was put to sleep,
when it was injected into him,
How he lost his strength right at that moment,
How he fell,
The expression on his face.


I'm sorry Marco..
I'm sorry.. I'm sorry.. I'm sorry ..


I'm sorry.. 

making-sweetness Ileana ♥