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Music making-sweetness


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Ileana
17 Nov
Nayang Academy Of Fine Arts

craves -;
♥ name change
♥ goodbye to panda eyes
♥ Piano Black Polaroid ;
♥ Gain weight 10-15kg;
♥ BlackBerry Bold
♥ freedom
♥ A car;
♥ granny and mummy's good health & happiness;
♥ learn piano;
♥ death ♥

loves -;
♥ making-sweetness

♥
♥ OZWorld
♥ 爱情小说
♥ myself not

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Designer l Fanny
Basecodes 1 l Piinklifiedd
Basecodes 2 l InDreamsMaybe
codes 1 l Ms.SockPuppet
codes 2 l Little-Miss-Wendy
Materials 1 l cyworld
Materials 2 l Angelicreations
311209 -; the last day of 2009 ..
Wednesday, December 30, 2009 | 11:26 PM

Today's supposed to be fun and crazy .. but I've been emoing these days.. I cried.. I hated myself.. Blamed myself for my stupidity.. I kept to myself. I had suicidal thoughts.. It felt like im going insane, with those thoughts. My heart hurts .. I'm all alone..

I used to think he would understand.. but he never did.. no one understands.. cos I never opened up myself.. I kept the reasons to myself.. I see no need to explain..

The first 2 songs's lyrics expresses how I feel.. They were meant for him.. But, i dont know if i should let him know.. bcos i dont want to disrupt his life now.. It hurts so much.. its weird how thoughts come to me.. telling me.. ' 你还爱着他' .. I cry to myself everyday.. 我走不出这段恋情。

Thoughts flooded my mind.. Does he really love her.. yet, i cant bear to think of him.. cause it hurts too much..

我的朋友呢？干弟弟呢？没人在我身边。They have their own life.. I dont wish to burden them with mine. I would rather be mute, cos i dont want to affect others.. with this emoness of mine.. I was forgotten..

我知道，失去了就在也找不回，不关现在抓的多么紧，都已经太迟了。Perhaps its just me, who's subconsciously reluctant to walk out of the past.. 我选择封闭自己。I guess .. what I need now is this - making-sweetness

making-sweetness Ileana ♥